Did you just start a new role in Leadership? Then do I have a story for you!

Before we start I want to tell you that Leading/Managing/Co-Ordinating is HARD. Like really, really HARD.

Not only are you put into a new position and have to learn all of these new processes, systems, reports, but your calendar is suddenly full with meetings you're not sure what you're meeting about and networks that you're not sure what you're meant to be saying or doing.

I often use the analogy of being out in the surf. You get a break in the waves and catch your breath, and then another set comes in and you're tossed around again trying to get your head above water. Part exhilaration, part total fear.

But guess what - the actual work - that’s the easy bit. You wouldn’t have gotten the job if you weren’t capable. Yeah, it might take a while but each week it gets easier until you're throwing out facts, figures, buzz words and acronyms like a pro.

The HARD bit is managing people. Yep, you know these people. You were these people. You thought that was going to be the easy bit.

The people that you had coffee with each day, sympathised with when they didn’t get their leave approved or missed out on that project, maybe even had a whinge about how unfair your manager could be.

You are now managing those people.

You are now the one that has to make the decision about the leave when you're already short staffed.

You have to make the decision about who gets the next opportunity and know that it isn’t just about the person but the best fit for the whole team.

You are the person who has to decide if you need to have a conversation about being late every day ‘by just ten minutes’ or always leaving that 10 minutes early ‘because it’s not worth starting something new.’

You are the person who liked to pop in their ear-phones and just focus on their work, and craved a private office. But now you have it, the door suddenly seems to be revolving and there is a constant stream of people wanting something. Your advice, your input, your approval, your answer. You are suddenly privy to information, complaints and behaviours that put a necessary wedge between you and your team.

All the things you didn’t notice when you were part of the team.

If it was as simple as just reading the books, doing the course and following the inspirational quotes shared on LinkedIn management should be easy right?

Managers would - at the least - lead fairly, equitably and with emotional intelligence. At best, find opportunities for their staff, advocate and promote them whenever possible, be consistent, kind and build a team that people love to be part of.

Employees would at the very least fulfill their role description, be kind and considerate to their co-workers, and be reliable. And at best would be a champion for their company and industry, love their job, be keen to learn and develop, be a mentor to other staff and become invaluable to their team.

And everyone would live happily ever after.

But unfortunately life is not a fairy tale.

The real story is you will manage people who choose roles they are not suited to. People not interested in learning how to improve their skills and unlock their talents. People who will be resistant to change - even if it is positive.

Who joined an organisation even though it was never a good match with their values . Who will see an opportunity to push the boundaries, challenge your decisions and go over your head to get the answer they want.

Who, instead of leaving to find the right fit, blame the organisation, the manager, the system rather than admitting that they are just not suited to the role.

Or you have managers above you who believe leadership = power. Who play favourites. Who are threatened by new ideas, creativity or knowledge.

Or maybe just never got the mentorship or coaching to help them be good leaders, so aren’t able to support you in the way that good leaders need to be supported.

But I promise it’s not all bad.

It is definitely challenging - but for me, managing people is one of the most rewarding parts of my career.

You just have to put some strategies in place.

Firstly, let's start by remembering why you wanted the role and what traits got you the job.

I bet you have great communication skills. You are empathetic. You have common sense. You want to be a fair leader. You want to give your team flexibility. You are excited to build a strong team culture and bring the best out of your staff. You saw talents and skills that nobody else noticed in others. You want to provide opportunities for those people. You don’t want to micro-manage like the last person who was promoted.

So, let’s make this a ‘choose your own adventure’ story. You know the kind - where you get to make a choice on how the story goes.

You have got the new role - now you choose Path 1 or Path 2.

Path 1:

You want to be a good manager. You move into the role, with little or no insight into what management really looks like but you have all those skills just mentioned. You are promised support but that stops within the first few weeks. Hey, this is a small organisation and we are all under the pump.

You're struggling but too embarrassed to admit it. So to be sure not to be ‘caught out’ you start to micro-manage. You put the same expectations on your team that had been put on you.

You check every email, review every presentation, oversee every meeting or project. If everything is perfect then no one will see how much you are drowning in unrealistic expectations and lack of confidence.

Or - you give everyone freedom and flexibility with no direction or parameters. If everyone loves you then that means you're a great manager right?

Basically - you panic - and nobody notices - at first.

You walk into a meeting and ‘talk the talk’.

You have a shiny presentation but nobody is noticing that underneath everything is crumbling.

People are leaving, the bad staff get worse, the good staff feel frustrated and the culture is one of blame and finger pointing - it gets so muddy that nobody can see clearly where the problem is.

You consider leaving your role even though, before this promotion you loved it.

You stay longer at work - trying to get on top of things - make that presentation shinier, add more jobs to your list, ask more from your team.

You go home frustrated, angry and complaining.

You even get a touch paranoid - you start to think your team is undermining you. Or the executive is freezing you out of conversations, decisions.

And then one day you walk into your boss and hand in your resignation.

Or you can choose

Path 2:

You want to be a good manager. You move into the role, with little or no insight into what management really looks like but you have all those skills mentioned previously. You are promised support but that stops within the first few weeks. Hey, this is a small organisation and we are all under the pump.

You're struggling but you know you need get help. You don’t have a big HR team but you have some professional development funding so you choose to engage a Leadership coach. You chat with Katrina (me - if I am the right fit but this is my story so I am), because she has had 34 years of experience in government, not for profit and community organisations. You know she understands what you're struggling with (see, I knew I was the right fit).

You meet monthly for about an hour. Each session you bring your challenges, your wins, your new ideas. Katrina (me again) doesn’t tell you what to do, but you are able to workshop solutions and strategies. You don’t feel embarrassed or silly when discussing things with Katrina because she’s independent and you know what is discussed is private, and doesn't go outside the room (or zoom).

The conversations can be challenging - you discuss how you have started to micro-manage the team because you are under so much pressure from above to get it right. Katrina helps you unpack why you feel the need to do that, what other strategies you could use and how to build capacity in your team.

So you manage to stop that before it undermines the trust in your staff.

You believe in flexibility so you start off by giving everyone freedom and flexibility with no direction or parameters. But you realise this is causing huge problems. Some staff are taking advantage of your generosity.

You bring this to your next coaching session. You leave it understanding that having clear boundaries can still go hand in hand with flexibility. You don’t have to be everyone’s friend to be a good manager. You realise policies are a help not a hinderance and start to refer to them regularly, and set expectations with staff early. You learn that you can offer flexibility when appropriate, and not feel guilty when it isn't suitable.

You have a new project and you're unsure where to even start but are too embarrassed to ask your manager as you made out you completely understood what was needed. So you spend the hour with Katrina putting a plan together and discussing ideas. You realise you did know what you were doing, you were just overwhelmed by the enormity of the task. But having the time to break it down and work through it and the ideas started flowing. Oh, and Katrina had some great suggestions from her experience that your going to investigate further.

You still have bad weeks where you are frustrated, angry and sometimes a little hurt - but having someone independent to speak to and vocalise how you feel, allows you to validate your emotions, reset and refocus. You realise that stuff happening at home is likely influencing your frustration at work. On reflection you can see you might blow things out of proportion sometimes. You make a plan to add self care to your week, as well as revisiting your calendar to make time for admin and planning.

You are doing so well that your manager has suggested you attend a conference to represent the organisation. It means giving a presentation on the project your team has been working on. You are excited but terrified. You work with Katrina on presentation skills, confidence and general expectations. She also has some great resources that will help with your communication style. This is your first work trip. You have questions around logistics. Yep, you should have known that but you had never had a reason to look for the information. But she has pointed you in the right direction. You love the conference, nailed the presentation (well didn't throw up and got some great feedback) and met some great contacts. You discovered stakeholder engagement is something you would like to do more of.

So how do you think the story ends if you choose Path B?

Before this promotion you really liked your job. Now, with the right support you not only love your job, but truly understand how what you are doing is making a difference to the people you manage, your organisation and the community you support.

THE END

Which path would you pick?